I'll Be Okay
by Jinx2016
Summary: Rage bubbles at every seam of Castiel's body thanks to the attack dog spell Rowena put on him. He fights it, struggling with every fiber of his being to push back the red creeping through his vision. He tells himself that everything is going to be okay, but with the oncoming Darkness, angels, and Dean Castiel finds himself struggling to believe his own words.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is set in S11. It was inspired thanks to the flashes of Castiel throughout the trailer for the new season. This is just a theory of mine on what could be happening to Castiel in the upcoming season. Title is from Nothing More's song "I'll Be Okay". This fic will be posted on either Saturday or Sunday and will be complete before S11 starts on October 7th.**

 **Warning: SPN 11 trailer spoilers**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Castiel's mind was in splinters. It was scattered throughout his head, leaving only empty space ready to be filled by a darker force. Rowena's spell had taken the opportunity with earnest. With his mind in pieces, the spell took over the empty space. It weaved its dark web and made itself right at home. Castiel tried to think straight, but couldn't. His thoughts had been broken and tossed to the far depths of his mind, leaving only Rowena's spell to fill in the blanks for him.

 _Attack. Attack. Attack._

He tried to push it back, but the spell was too much for him. Once, there was a time where he would have been able to obliterate the spell currently beating him down. However, that had been a time where things were much easier. Castiel had been an angel of the lord then. Now he was in no way an angel. He had the grace of an angel even if it was only a small portion. He had the wings of one, but they were nothing but broken skeletons. His powers were of an angel's even if he was weaker than most of his brethren. Castiel had fallen. He had become human and grew to know emotions that no angel truly understood, but he was not a human either now. Castiel was something else entirely. He'd been asked before if he was an angel or a man. Castiel had answered, calling himself an angel, but the words felt like a lie on his tongue. Even when he called himself a human it didn't feel right.

"Castiel," Crowley called in front of him. Castiel's attention focused on the king of hell. His words were muffled to Cas' ears. All he could hear was the demon's annoying pleading and the little voice in his head urging him to jump the shaking demon. He tried to struggle again and Rowena's spell pushed at him full force. Rage ran through his veins, but not like any kind Castiel had felt before. This was pure burning rage. It bubbled beneath his skin, burning him from the inside out. Castiel growled and yelled, but it was no use.

Growling low in the back of his throat Castiel stood slightly straighter. He looked Crowley over, every nerve in his body itching to tear the demon in front of him apart.

Castiel took a step forward. His vision tunneled, making Crowley look distorted and far away. With angel blade in hand, Cas charged forward. Crowley cried out and ducked in a sorry attempt to protect himself. Cas' blade flew downward, cutting through the air with ease and soaring for Crowley's unprotected body.

An ache pulsed through Cas' chest, thumping from his heart, to his grace, and then to the rest of his body. He paused mid-swing and Crowley stared up at him with a dumbfounded look on his face. Cas stared right through him, shaking as the strange feeling washed over him. It wasn't like when Rowena's spell had attacked him. This was more gentle and calming. The shattered pieces of his mind slowly clicked back together, forcing Rowena's spell to the back. Castiel's mind cleared slightly and the red faded from his eyes little by little. His free will was pushing through Rowena's spell and calling him back.

Castiel grit his teeth and held on to the little bit of strength still glowing within him. When he finally gained back his control he shakily lowered his blade. Crowley let out a sigh of relief, opening his mouth to make some witty comeback.

His words were cut off as Castiel swung out with his fist instead of his blade. He clipped Crowley right in the jaw and Crowley's body spun. The king of hell swung backwards; face contorting before he collapsed onto the cold ground. Silence filled the room Castiel stood in and calm washed over the angel.

Cas let out a shaky breath, stepping back from Crowley like he'd been burned. It was a struggle not to lift his blade and finish the passed out demon, but Cas knew that if he did the little bit of free will fighting within him would be completely swallowed by Rowena's spell. His blade flew back up his sleeve and for a second everything was okay. It wasn't really though. The red was easing its way back again. It was slow, but it wouldn't be long before Castiel's free will was chased away again.

The angel slunk past the king of hell and threw himself outside. The cold air bit at his skin, cooling him down. Cas was grateful. He felt too hot. His hair was limp with sweat and he yearned to pull off his trench coat to relieve himself of the growing heat building inside him from the spell. Cas kept the coat on though, fingers brushing at the fabric in attempt to distract himself.

Something buzzed within Castiel's pocket after only a few minutes of standing outside in the dark. It took him a second to realize that it was his phone that was buzzing and not the spell winding beneath his skin.

Cas reached into his pocket, flipping the phone out and looking at the screen. The angel didn't even pause as he answered the call.

"Hello, Dean."

" _Cas,"_ Dean sighed in relief through the phone. For a second Cas wondered if Dean had been worried about him or something, but the hunter's next words crushed the thought. _"What do you got on the darkness?"_

Cas didn't know what he was expecting when he answered the phone. He should have known better than to think that Dean calling him would be for anything else. Dean never called to just talk or anything. He called when he needed something. Sometimes it was information. Other times it was help on a case. Then there were the rare occasions that Dean called just to clear his own worries or guilt. He'd ask how the angel was doing in hopes of getting an answer that would allow him to get some sleep at night. Cas doubted he ever did when Castiel lied and said he was fine. Dean wasn't that kind of man. Castiel didn't mind the calls. In all honesty, they made him feel needed— _wanted_. There were times though that Castiel felt like a tool as he listened to Dean's deep voice on the other side of the phone.

Castiel told Dean what the hunter needed to know. There were things Castiel didn't know, but he gave Dean every bit of information he had. Dean listened, making comments every so often and there were moments where Castiel heard Sam say something or comment. Castiel wasn't really paying attention anymore as the brothers bickered back and forth about what he had told them. Rowena's spell was distracting him. It was pushing against the walls he'd tried to put up, slipping past his barriers, and teasing at the strings of his mind in attempt to break him.

Cas leaned back against the cold wall of the building, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. It took three tries before Castiel suddenly realized Dean was calling his name.

"What?" he croaked into the phone, forcing himself back into reality again as he lifted his head from the wall.

" _Are you okay?"_ the hunter repeated and Castiel realized that his struggle and pain wasn't as easily hidden as he had hoped. _"Cas?"_

"I'm—"

" _Don't,"_ Dean hissed before Cas could finish. _"We're done with that shit, Cas. Nothing's fine. The darkness is loose doing God knows what, the world's going to shit...again, and you most definitely are not fine. Now, what's the matter?"_ Cas licked his lips and leaned his head back against the side of the building he stood outside of.

"I'm not okay," he admitted. Dean urged him to go on. Castiel did. "Rowena...she did something to me. It was a spell." Cas reached a hand to the wet skin beneath his eyes. His fingers came back bloody.

" _What was the spell?"_

" _Dele malum hoc_ , but you most likely would recognize it as _Impetus bestiarum_ ," Castiel recited. He heard Dean suck in a breath.

" _Shit,"_ the hunter swore.

" _What?"_ Castiel heard Sam question through the phone.

" _Rowena blasted Cas with the attack dog spell,"_ Dean told his brother before putting his attention back on the angel listening silently. _"Cas, you just hang on tight, alright? We're coming for you. We'll take care of this. Just stay where you are. You're going to be okay."_

"Yes, Dean," Castiel sighed. Dean hung up then and Cas pocketed his phone. He let out a soft prayer that the Winchesters would be quick. The red was easing its way into the corners of Castiel's eyes, tinting everything to a bloody color that made Cas' stomach turn. He could feel the spell drumming at his brain. Castiel was glad the streets were empty of life and that he was safe from doing harm to an innocent soul.

 _Attack. Attack. Attack._

He gripped at the brick wall behind him with shaking fingers, anchoring himself to the solid wall for support. He let out slow, deep breaths.

"It's okay," Cas whispered, repeating Dean's words from earlier. No matter how many times he said them though Castiel felt the same way he did when he called himself an angel. He felt like a liar. He wasn't okay. Dean had been right originally. He was falling apart. Dean wanted him to tell the truth before and so Castiel did. He was in no way okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Cas didn't know how long he'd been standing out in the cold, but it felt like ages. He searched for Sam and Dean, but the two brothers were nowhere to be seen. Castiel thought about calling them just to have someone with him to talk to. He wanted the comfort of not being alone, but he didn't touch the phone in his pocket. He just stared forward, putting his faith in the two men like he'd done so many times before. He just hoped that he wouldn't be left disappointed. He honestly didn't know how much longer he could wait. The red was nearly flooding his vision completely and the rage was pulsing beneath his skin, waiting for the perfect chance to take over.

The rage's chance came out of nowhere.

It hit Cas like a train. He bent forward, gasping as his vision tunneled and red became the only color he could see. He grunted and growled, slowly lifting his head when soft footsteps padded nearby. His body was stiff as he waited in the dark for who had triggered his rage. He could feel the hum of a soul nearby and the spell coursing through his blood hummed hungrily for it. Cas tried to fight against it like he had before, but it was too strong for him. If he still had all his grace and wasn't as weakened as he was maybe he would have been able to push the spell back completely. He only had a sliver left though. The rest had been used in the spell to expel the angels from Heaven. He was useless— a dulled tool.

A woman walked past him. She had brown curls atop her head and wore a yellow jacket. She didn't even notice him lurking in the dark. Her mind was elsewhere and Castiel wished that he could send his mind somewhere else as easily as she.

All at once Castiel snapped and his body moved of its own accord. He snarled and charged at the woman, grabbing her tightly. She screamed; eyes wide. Her hands lifted in a lame attempt to protect herself. She struggled, pushing against him and kicking with her feet, but Castiel was stronger than her. He was broken and weak, but he was still strong enough to hold her down. Tears slipped down her face and Castiel went for the kill. He raised his hand, but nimble fingers wrapped around his wrist, keeping him from striking the poor woman. Castiel turned his reddened gaze on the one who held him. He growled low in the back of his throat as he recognized the dark eyes staring back at him.

"Orifiel," he growled.

"Castiel," his brother said back. He tore Castiel away from the woman and the poor girl made a mad dash into the streets, screaming for help as she ran. The angels watched her go before turning back to each other.

Orifiel's eyes were dark compared to the far past bloodshot eyes that stared back at him.

"Look at you," Orifiel whispered. "What has happened to you, Castiel?" Castiel growled in answer and struggled against Orifiel with all his might. The animalistic part of him wanted to tear his brother in half, but the half of him that was still Castiel fought to hold back the other part with all its might.

Castiel wasn't strong enough.

He broke free from the angel and whipped out his angel blade. The angel ducked and weaved past Castiel's sloppy movements. Orifiel side stepped behind Cas and slammed a hard fist against Cas' skull before the raging angel could attack again. Castiel fell to the cold ground. Darkness swarmed the red in his eyes and Castiel fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

Castiel was in his right mind when he woke up. There with a sharp ache in the back of his skull and his wrists stun. He took in his surroundings, blinking his eyes a few times as color returned to his vision. He was no longer outside the building he and Crowley had once been in. No, instead Castiel found himself in a dark room of concrete. His hands were tied above his head, keeping him in a standing position. The bindings around his wrists were too tight and cut into his skin.

"Brother," a voice called from behind. Castiel strained his head in a failed attempt to look at the angel behind him. His head swiveled left and right, but the movements were utterly useless. "I'm sorry that I must do this to you." There was the small sound of an angel blade falling from the sleeve of Orifiel's suit. Terror thrummed in Castiel chest. He remained still, nails biting into his palms.

"Don't do this, brother," Castiel pleaded.

"I am afraid that I must, Castiel," Orifiel stated before swiping his angel blade through the air. It dragged across Cas' right hip and up his side. Cas' body spasmed and a scream pushed past his lips. The rage flooded his senses, using the spark of pain to take Castiel once again. Cas snarled and hissed at the angel torturing him, baring his teeth like a rabid dog. In a way he was. He was out of his mind and his brother was going to put him down eventually.

Castiel kicked with his untied feet and struggled against his restraints. Blood ran down his arms as his bindings sliced deep into his flesh. His torturer was unfazed by his acts. He continued to cut, slicing away until Cas' trench coat fell to pieces against the floor. Next went the black suit beneath the coat and Castiel was left in only his pants and a bloody, white dress shirt. Even his tie was sitting in the pile of tattered clothes.

Orifiel walked behind Castiel again, blade hovering over Cas' shoulder blades. Cas roared, bucking madly. His shouts were silenced though as the door to the room he was held in slammed open. Castiel froze, stunned as light shown outside the room. A man stood in the doorway and the red slipped away just a tiny bit, allowing Castiel to come back to his senses enough to recognize the angel within the young man with dark hair.

"Hannah?" Castiel croaked, mouth hanging open as the angel stepped inside. Hannah forced a smile at Castiel. It was sad and pained. He knew the answer to why of course. "Hannah, please. I—"

"No," Hannah interrupted, shaking her head sadly. "You don't get to say anything to me, Castiel." Her vessel's eyes were filled with anger as she met Castiel's bloodshot eyes, but Castiel could see disappointment there too. "You misused my trust. You freed Metatron and now he walks free. You betrayed me, Castiel."

"I did," Castiel admitted, forcing back the rage that tried to claim the small crack he had slipped through. "But, Hannah, I had to. I had no choice in the matter. The Winchesters needed my help. The mark...what it was doing to Dean...he…"

"Yes, the Winchester," Hannah sighed sadly as Castiel trailed off. "It's always for Dean isn't it? You chose him over us the last time too. Him and his brother...you'd do anything for them. Even betray me and all of Heaven." Castiel was silent for a beat.

"Hannah—"

"Enough," Hannah scolded. She stepped closer to Castiel, nose only inches from Castiel's. "You betrayed Heaven and like any angel you must be punished." Hannah looked to the angel standing behind Castiel again. She gave him a small nod. "Continue," she ordered.

An angel blade sliced through the back of Cas' neck and he screamed in agony as it trailed down to his shoulders and past his ribs. Hannah shuttered as he screamed, looking away with tears in her eyes. Orifiel paused in his ministrations.

"Hannah, I can handle this. There is no need for you to watch if it hurts you," Orifiel said gently. Hannah nodded thankfully and turned her back on the two. She paused outside the door, looking like she wanted to look back at Castiel one last time, but she didn't. Hannah rolled the shoulders of her male vessel and walked out of the room. The door slammed shut and Castiel waited for the angel blade to cut through him again.

The angel blade clattered to the floor as Orifiel tossed it to the ground. Castiel frowned in confusion. The bindings on his wrists were cut free and Castiel was suddenly shoved down into a chair. He was tied down again by the wrists, but this time the angel got his feet too.

"What are you…?" Castiel trailed off as his brother stood in front of him with a torture device Castiel had seen before. He'd seen it twice, both times used on people he loved. The first time was on his brother Samandriel and the second on Sam. Now his brother held it in his hands, ready to strap it to Castiel.

"I'm sorry, Castiel."

"Brother," Castiel pleaded as Orifiel grew closer. "Please don't! Brother!" Orifiel strapped it on and Cas struggled, the rage returning to aid him in his fight. It was too late though. His brother was quick in clapping everything into place and soon Castiel's head was encased in metal. The screws poked at his skin and Castiel growled as Orifiel's fingers wrapped around one. "Don't—" The screw pushed through Castiel flesh and skull. Castiel screamed; body shuttering and shaking within the chair. His brother didn't say a word. He only continued his duty, pushing and pulling the screws until all Castiel could do was roar and bellow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Cas screamed in agony as Orifiel turned the knob again on the headset, drilling the nail farther into Castiel's skull. Bloodlust and rage blinded Castiel. He wanted nothing more than to rip himself from the chair he was held in and beat his brother to the floor until the feeling of warm blood and grace covered him. Any spark of free will or kindness had been washed away by the never ending stream of rage that hit Cas at all sides.

Another screw slammed home into Castiel's temple. Cas' head flew back as far as it could and his mouth opened wide in a wailing cry. The door swung open unexpectedly and Cas' torturer jumped back. Hannah stepped into view, eyes wide as she stared at Castiel's beaten and broken body.

"H...Hannah!" Orifiel stammered. "What are you doing here?" Hannah stepped farther into the room, eyes stuck on the headpiece fastened to Castiel's bloodied head.

"I...changed my mind. As the new caretaker of Heaven it is my duty to see out any and all punishments to those they are bestowed on." Hannah's fingers reached out tentatively, brushing against Cas' cheek. Cas growled at her touch, too far gone to really be able to tell that it was kind, loving Hannah who had touched him. He bared his teeth at her, threatening to bite if she touched him again. "What have you done?" she questioned, fear in her voice as she looked to Orifiel. "This was not what was ordered of you."

"Hannah," Orifiel sighed sadly. "Believe me, this hurts me to do this, but Castiel must pay _severely_ for his crimes. I'm not only talking about what happened with Metatron. I speak of everything, starting from the day he sided with the Winchesters and going all the way to now."

"And this is justice?" she questioned, pointing at the headpiece. "This is too much, brother. The mind is a delicate thing and to tamper with it even on a prisoner is sick." Eyes darkened and Castiel watched as his torturer picked up the angel blade on the floor.

"And?" Orifiel questioned. "What will you do about this?" Hannah stared at the blade.

"I don't wish to fight you, brother —"

"What will you do?" Orifiel growled again. Hannah licked her lips slowly and nodded upwards.

"You will be taken off this mission," she stated. "You—" Her brother swung his blade at her and Hannah whipped out her own. Metal clanged loudly together and Hannah stared up into dark eyes.

"I will not. I made a vow that he would pay for what he did to our brothers and sisters," the angel growled. "I will put him down like the dog he is along with anyone in my way." Hannah's teeth grit and she tightened her hold on her blade.

"Then you'll have to cut through me," Hannah growled, pulling back her blade and swiping it at her opponent's chest. Orifiel dived back and the two clashed, fighting one on one. Hannah made a swipe at Orifiel's chest and he kicked her, sending her flying backward. She smacked into Cas, accidently bumping the headset strapped to her brother's head. Cas screamed in agony and something warm flooded throughout his mind. It wasn't painful like before. It soothed him and Castiel found himself closing his eyes and rejoicing in the feeling.

The sound of blades swiping against each other caused him to open his eyes again and Castiel gasped in surprise when he did. His vision was back to normal again. His sight was no longer tunneled and the red had dimmed greatly. His thoughts were also his own. The blaring voice in his head that had been pushing him to attack had died, leaving his own thoughts to take over.

Cas glanced over at Hannah, watching as she and Orifiel sliced and dodged back and forth. He looked away from them, ignoring the fight. His opening had finally come. He put all his focus on the straps holding him down. They snapped after some wiggling and Castiel quickly tore off the headpiece and got started on the bindings on his ankles. The straps snapped too after some fiddling and Castiel stood. He made to bolt for the door, but froze mid-step. A blade flew through the air and collided with the chest of Hannah's vessel. Hannah's eyes went wide and Castiel yelled out for his sibling. Hannah looked at him with sad eyes and a small smile. She mouthed at him, whispering to him to go before collapsing to the floor. Her body seized and grace shown, marking the angel's death.

Cas stared at Hannah's limp body. She had wanted him to run— to go find Sam and Dean. Castiel wanted to too, but as he stared at Hannah's body his own rage called for the spell that had been sent to the back of his mind. Castiel's blood boiled and he let out a feral growl before lunging at his torturer and Hannah's murderer. Orifiel yelped in surprise and tried to fight back, but Castiel was fueled by rage and a purpose. His brother lifted his angel blade, but Castiel pinned it in their locked hands before grabbing at his brother's head. He twisted it, snapping Orifiel's vessel's neck before grabbing the angel blade and stabbing it down into Orifiel's chest. The body crumbled to the floor alongside Hannah's and all was silent.

The little bit of red that had eased back cleared from Castiel's eyes and the rage drained out of him. Cas' legs buckled and he collapsed to his knees. He looked over his brother's and Hannah's dead vessels. He dipped his head, grief throbbing at his heart. He could have just sat there and waited for more angels to show up and finish the job his brother didn't get to finish, but Castiel couldn't let that happen just yet.

Painfully, Castiel pushed himself across the room to his tattered trench coat. He fished through the torn pocket, finding his phone safe inside. He dialed Dean's number slowly and put his phone on speaker before letting it fall from his hands onto the floor with a clatter. The phone only rang once before it picked up and Dean's voice shouted on the other end.

" _Cas?!"_ Dean called. _"Cas?!"_

"I'm here, Dean," Cas muttered softly. He could hear the hunter sigh on the other side of the phone.

" _Thank God! Cas, where have you been? I couldn't find you and you wouldn't answer you damn phone and…"_ Dean trailed off and Cas listened to the man breathe in and out slowly before deciding to speak.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas apologized, voice hoarse and shaky from screaming and the raw emotion bubbling within him.

" _Cas?"_ There was worry in Dean's voice now. _"What's the matter? What's happened?"_ Cas didn't answer, but Dean didn't give up. _"Cas, talk to me, buddy. Are you okay?"_ Cas stared at the angels lying dead by his feet. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

"No," he whispered hoarsely. "No, I'm not."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Dean had stayed with Cas on the phone for the next hour and a half before he ran through wide doors calling Castiel's name. Cas called out to him from where he sat on the floor. He was curled up along the wall farthest from the pair of bodies sprawled out on the ground. He had forced himself onto his feet not long after calling Dean for help. He had meant to leave the room completely, but his legs refused to hold him and his head throbbed painfully from the constant abuse it had been put through and movement only made it worse.

"Cas!" Dean cried, rushing to the angel and kneeling down by his side. He forced Castiel to sit up against the wall the angel was slumped tiredly against. He looked Cas over for wounds, but there was no need. Castiel's wounds had healed. Only a few remained as red scars or blemishes. Even his clothes had sewn themselves back together.

"Dean," Cas croaked, eyes flicking over the hunter. They fell onto Dean's arm where his sleeve rode up, revealing unblemished skin where the mark used to be. Cas smiled at the hunter. "It is good to see you." Dean forced a smile back.

"Yeah," he agreed. His eyes glanced around the room briefly before going back to the tired angel. "I wish it were under better circumstances." Dean licked his lips and followed the trails of blood around Castiel's eyes with his own. "How you holding up?" Cas stared into Dean's green eyes, seeing his reflection in the hunter's gaze. Castiel was pale and sickly looking with small rivers of blood running from his eyes and the spots where the headpiece had dug in.

"My head hurts," Castiel admitted. He dipped his head, closing his eyes and pressing a hand to his temple. A hand gripped at his shoulder and Cas forced his eyes open, seeing Dean's worried face. He watched the hunter swallow nervously and reach out. Dean's fingers brushed against the trails of blood running down from Cas' bloodshot eyes. Dean wiped the blood off with the sleeve of his coat, cleaning Cas off as best he could.

"Whatever is going on here, Cas, we'll fix, okay?" He looked at Cas expectantly and the angel slowly bobbed his head up and down in answer. Dean sighed and patted Cas' cheek lightly. "We'll get you back to the bunker where you'll be safe. We'll stop whatever Rowena did to you —"

"You have to lock me up," Cas said suddenly.

"What?"

"You have to lock me up," Castiel repeated again.

"I'm not doing that to you—"

"You have to!" Cas growled a bit harsher than he intended. Dean froze and stared at the angel with wide eyes. Castiel lowered his gaze, looking in the corner of his eye at the two bodies sprawled along the floor. "I'm dangerous," Cas explained. "I tried to kill Crowley and an innocent girl." Cas closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "When Orifiel tortured me I...I couldn't think straight. I was lost, but then...then Hannah bumped the headpiece and drove a screw in and...for a second I could think somewhat clearer again. I got loose. I was free to run and then...then Hannah was killed and I...I snapped. I didn't care that Orifiel was my brother. I didn't care when I killed both him and his vessel." Cas paused and stared at Dean with wide, glistening eyes. "Dean, I don't know what to do…"

Dean dropped his hands from Castiel's face and wrapped an arm around the angel tightly. Cas stiffened in the embrace, but was only squeezed tighter.

"I'm taking you home," Dean said sternly. "You didn't give up on me when you should've, Cas, so why should I?"

Dean started pulling Castiel back onto his feet. The angel swayed, but Dean held him tight. They made their way towards the exit, but the sound of feet patting nearby made them stop. Castiel expected for Sam to rush in, but instead he was faced with the dark, hateful gaze of his sister.

"Castiel," Ingrid spat, putting herself between the two and the exit. "You will pay for your crimes against Hannah and Orifiel." Her angel blade fell into her hand.

"No, Ingrid, I didn't—"

"Enough of your lies!" Ingrid hissed, striding towards them with her blade at the ready. Dean let go of Cas and the angel slumped to the floor. Dean glanced back Cas and then charged. An angel blade appeared in Dean's hand and metal clanged together. Castiel watched them. He expected the rage to force its way to the surface, but it stayed buried in the back of his head. It still whispered to him, acting like the devil on his shoulder. The rage wanted him to pull out his own blade and charge the two. It wanted him to hurt his sister, but what made Castiel's stomach really twist was the fact that it wanted him to hurt _Dean_.

Castiel rose to his feet. He wobbled, but he forced himself forward. Ingrid and Dean didn't notice him approaching and when Castiel's chance opened wide for him he dived between his sister and friend. Angel blades hurled right at him, pausing last second and hovering over his chest and the center of his back.

"Cas, what the hell are you doing?!" Dean cried, pulling the blade in his now shaking hand back. Castiel ignored the hunter and stared into Ingrid's eyes.

"Sister, please listen to me," he pleaded. I admit that I killed Orifiel, but only after he killed Hannah. She tried to stop his duties of torturing me and he attacked her."

"Why should I believe you?" Ingrid questioned. "You are a liar, Castiel."

"Yes," Cas admitted with a heavy heart. "I do not deserve your trust just like I did not deserve Hannah's, but what I speak now is the truth." Ingrid pressed her blade against Cas' neck.

"Look me in the eye, brother, and tell me you are telling the truth," she ordered. "Look at me and say this or I will slice both you and your precious hunter to ribbons."

"I did not kill Hannah," Castiel stated, blue eyes staring sadly into his sister's stern ones. "She was killed by our brother and I in turn killed him." He held his breath then, watching as Ingrid slowly lowered her weapon. She stepped back and let her blade slide back up her sleeve.

"I believe you," she stated and Cas heard Dean let a breath he had been holding slip past his lips. Castiel would have joined him in the feeling of relief, but he knew things weren't over just yet. Ingrid might see him innocent for Hannah's murder, but his crimes against Heaven were unforgivable.

"Will you take me now?" he asked. Dean stiffened by his side and raised his angel blade again protectively. Cas held up a hand, forcing Dean to lower the weapon before looking expectantly back at Ingrid.

"No, Castiel, not today," Ingrid sighed. "For taking care of Orifiel I will look the other direction for now, but realize, Castiel, that when we catch you again your punishment will continue and you will be put down like the dog you are." Castiel nodded in understanding and Ingrid walked out of the room and down the corridor where Hannah and Orifiel's bodies were.

Cas' legs buckle beneath him when she left and Dean grabbed him, holding him up.

"Cas?" he questioned.

"Sorry," Castiel apologized as Dean wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him out of the building. The Impala was waiting outside for them and Dean popped the passenger door open for Castiel. The angel dipped inside and Dean shut the door. The hunter then went around to the driver's side, popping in. He turned the keys in the Impala and stepped on the gas. The car lurched forward, driving hurriedly down the road and away from the building that held nothing but pain and death.

Dean looked over at Castiel as he drove. His eyes were filled with worry and something else Castiel couldn't place. It was probably guilt.

"We're going to fix this, Cas," he promised. Castiel nodded, looking down at his hands. They were shaking. Dean looked too and bothered his lips with his teeth. "You're going to be okay, Cas. I know it doesn't feel like that now, but you will be. You—"

"You asked me not to lie," Castiel interrupted, staring out the window. "You were right, Dean. I wasn't fine then, I'm not now, and I doubt I ever will be. It's not just me either. We have so many problems right now, Dean. The darkness and Rowena are out there this minute stripping away everything we've fought for so please don't lie to me and say everything is going to be okay because it isn't. We're not enough, Dean. We thought we were, but we aren't." He looked to Dean and the hunter stared back with a look of defeat. "Please, no more lies." Dean went silent and looked back to the road. His fingers reached for the radio and he pressed a small button. The sound of a cassette rolling filled the silence for a second before music softly blared through the speakers. Dean started humming after a few moments and Castiel closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax under the soft rumble of the Impala and the hunter's voice.

* * *

 **Well, that's the end. Sorry if you thought this was going to be about Cas throughout the season. I just wanted to poke at what might happen to our favorite angel within the first few episodes of the coming season. Thanks for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following.**


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